No Tofurkey for me!

Well, another year, another Thanksgiving at work. To be honest I don't mind that much. With all our family out of the area, and other days/holidays I would rather have off I can work today so someone else can spend it with family.

This year I am going to list out some of the things I am thankful for from the past 12 months.

I am thankful for;

A job that is just accomidating enough: A little over a year ago I remember looking at the logistics and deciding there was no way I was going to be able to go to school. But here I am, with a little help from coworkers, and some grudging help from my boss I created a schedule that allowed me to spend M/W/F at school and still get in my 36 hours a week of work. Now I am wrapping up a (fairly successful) quarter of 14 units including two science for science major classes with labs.

A supportive family: I had no idea who would/wouldn't show up to the wedding, but I was very pleased with who was there. It was an outpouring of support I couldn't have imagined and I had a blast reconnecting with some people I hadn't seen in years.

My health: Although this year has been something of a struggle health wise, I am very happy that things are relatively stable and that they rarely interfere wih my day to day life. Somedays are hard and I do feel sorry for myself, but most of the time I know that I could be worse off. I am also thankful for the providers who caught on to what was going on and have done a pretty good job of managing my care.

Eager doctors: I've been impressed, and appreciative of how many of the docs that I work with have stepped up since I expressed interest in going pre-med. They have universally been encouraging and many of them have taken an interest in showing/explaining things. It is these sort of experiences that make me like my job.

A great best friend: I am thankful every week to be friends with someone who makes time to one over and eat crappy food, have a drink and hang out. I'm always glad that he is willing and able to chat about anything, and it is a nice chance to escape the pressures of the rest of my week. I find it funny that no matter what time I tell myself I'm going to sleep, suddenly it's 3 am and were sitting in the car having some personal conversation.

A wonderful wife: Not to get too mushy here, but I am very appreciative of how much my wife does. She puts up with my busy stressful schedule, and the resulting cranky me. I am also always impressed by how many different roles she takes on and does them so well and without complaining. This year she has been: wedding planner, interior designer, study partner, therapist, chef, nurse, dog mom, health advocate, personal banker, bike detailer, housekeeper, cycling widow, personal shopper, student, nutritionist, debate partner, and masseuse. All of this on top of managing her own life. Without her support I wouldn't be able to do half the things I do.

Intervention

I've been having a sort of rough time this week.

Which is not surprising. Invariably after making big decisions I find myself grappling with all the logistics involved in those decisions. This week both my Chem and Bio teachers talked about research programs, which are things I would love to do and would help my med school app, but I'm not sure how to make it work. I also had several of the docs be very supportive of my med school decision, an suggest that I should become a scribe, a job I would love to have, but if I did that then I would lose my benefits, something that feels overwhelmingly unrealistic. We had a team meeting this week where we talked about the race weekends, which sound awesome. But at the same time I'm not sure that logistically I can actually go on any of them. On top of all that I overheard two of the charge nurses at work bitching about my extra day off. Which makes me plan to take math next quarter seem impossible.

It probably doesn't help that I was already feeling behind with 2 missed work out already this week, and a weekend looming where I need to write most of an 8 page paper, study for a Chem quiz, take one of the dogs for a vet appointment, attend a 3 hour team ride, an still try to ind some time to spend with my wife.

I guess I struggle with feeling like I'm not able to commit and do my best at the things I'm pursuing, which makes me feel like I need to just give up or lower my expectations. Which is a hard feeling to have.

Priorities

My official training season kicks off this week, which means no more randomly missed workouts. For the next four weeks I need to follow the schedule I made alot closer then I have been, at which point I'll move on to the next phase of training and a new schedule/challenge. That being said despite the missed workouts I've been feeling pretty good on the bike recently. On Friday the team ride went up the hill by the zoo and it was significantly easier then the last time I tried it.
The hard part will be making sure that with all the training my commitment to everything else in my life doesn't slip. At this point I'm doing very well in my classes (top 5 in bio, top grade in chem.) Which is making me rethink med school. This is one of the first times in my life I've felt like I can do well enough in the sciences to be a competitive applicant. This will mean that I need to keep my grades high, and that I want to try to not work/ work minimally starting next year. The financial logistics of this are doable, but trying to manage my healthcare needs without insurance will be the hard part.
I've been particularly achy recently (which is maybe related to the weather) and I find myself taking more and more ibuprofen. I'm hoping that once I fill my sulfasalazine prescription that it will bring my pain a little more under control. Right now I find myself truly inspired by the girl riding on the college team who kept up with us on the climbs riding a 30 lb hybrid, especially when I found out she has symptomatic crohn's. It was nice riding with someone whose health problems are more intimidating and is making it work through shear hard work. I figure if she can do it, I can to. Which is an attitude I will need to tackle all the things I'm taking on

Support

Probably the most important component of pursuing a degree at the same time I am trying to become a high level racer, is support from friends and family. I am very lucky to have a very wonderful, very supportive wife who puts up with my early morning rides, dirty bikes in the living room, lack of sleep, and endless list of bike related things to buy. Without her I would not be able to be where I am today, or dream of being where I want to be in the future.

The rest of the story

Like NKOTBSB I'm back, and hopefully this will be more permanent then a boy band. I've decided to start writing more regularly in here as a way to chronicle my training/racing, to try to keep track of my attempts to juggle; school, work, and racing, and to allow family and friends a little insight into the stories that they often only hear bits and pieces of.

In that vein I think it's important to put as much pertinent back story down on paper as I can, so that everyone is caught up.

Hi, my name is Colin and I love food.

About two years ago I was over 250 lbs (I had a no scales policy, so it's hard to say with any accuracy) and rapidly headed upwards. In september of that 2009 I started going to CSU Sacramento and bought a bike so I could ride to school. That first 3 mile ride felt like torture, and I can remember sitting in my first class pretty sure there was no way I was going to be able to make it home. Luckily I did (or else I would be writing this blog about living in a classroom) and it soon became a regular part of my life. Not long after as a convergence of things I had read (someday I'll post a book list) and things I had always felt I decided to become vegan.

Feeling the healthiest I ever had my wife and I moved to Portland Oregon last year and began integrating ourselves into a very vegan and bike friendly city. In December I had a return of what had been a chronic eye inflammation along with some acute back pain. After visiting what felt like hundreds of doctors, and batteries of tests I was diagnosed with HLA-B27 positive Ankylosing Spondilitis with concurrent Scleritis and Crohn's Disease. Which is a fancy way of saying I have a cluster of auto-immune problems all possibly associated with a component of my blood. In day to day terms, my eye has cleared up so what I end up dealing with is some back and joint pain and more regular pooping then the average person.

For the most part this hasn't slowed me down much. I joined a race team this past summer and got out to some team rides and for some racing. I also just transfered to Portland State University this fall to finish my bachelors degree, and joined the college race team as well.

Which brings us to now, where I am juggling a 36 an hour a week job, a full course load as a general science major, and trying to train for my first season of collegiate racing. I'll let you know how it goes as my life unfolds.