Intervention

I've been having a sort of rough time this week.

Which is not surprising. Invariably after making big decisions I find myself grappling with all the logistics involved in those decisions. This week both my Chem and Bio teachers talked about research programs, which are things I would love to do and would help my med school app, but I'm not sure how to make it work. I also had several of the docs be very supportive of my med school decision, an suggest that I should become a scribe, a job I would love to have, but if I did that then I would lose my benefits, something that feels overwhelmingly unrealistic. We had a team meeting this week where we talked about the race weekends, which sound awesome. But at the same time I'm not sure that logistically I can actually go on any of them. On top of all that I overheard two of the charge nurses at work bitching about my extra day off. Which makes me plan to take math next quarter seem impossible.

It probably doesn't help that I was already feeling behind with 2 missed work out already this week, and a weekend looming where I need to write most of an 8 page paper, study for a Chem quiz, take one of the dogs for a vet appointment, attend a 3 hour team ride, an still try to ind some time to spend with my wife.

I guess I struggle with feeling like I'm not able to commit and do my best at the things I'm pursuing, which makes me feel like I need to just give up or lower my expectations. Which is a hard feeling to have.