Pain

I have a backlog of things I meant to post about after the crush of school had subsided. Things like training plans, efficacy, etc. things that would have been an interesting way to break the silence. Instead I'm in pain. I have a muscle in the back of my thigh that runs up to the low back that gets inflamed. It seems to be the same muscle every time. And whereas before I could tell myself it was a fluke, and related to my position on the bike, this time it's been 2-3 days since I've ridden, and it seems to be the result of the gym+CPR work out I gave myself the last two days. The reoccurrence in the same place makes me think I should consult with PT about it. But it's just frustrating, frustrating to have my body (once again) dictate what I can and can't do, how much I can walk tomorrow, how far behind in riding I'll get this week, etc. in the end it's just a pain

No Tofurkey for me!

Well, another year, another Thanksgiving at work. To be honest I don't mind that much. With all our family out of the area, and other days/holidays I would rather have off I can work today so someone else can spend it with family.

This year I am going to list out some of the things I am thankful for from the past 12 months.

I am thankful for;

A job that is just accomidating enough: A little over a year ago I remember looking at the logistics and deciding there was no way I was going to be able to go to school. But here I am, with a little help from coworkers, and some grudging help from my boss I created a schedule that allowed me to spend M/W/F at school and still get in my 36 hours a week of work. Now I am wrapping up a (fairly successful) quarter of 14 units including two science for science major classes with labs.

A supportive family: I had no idea who would/wouldn't show up to the wedding, but I was very pleased with who was there. It was an outpouring of support I couldn't have imagined and I had a blast reconnecting with some people I hadn't seen in years.

My health: Although this year has been something of a struggle health wise, I am very happy that things are relatively stable and that they rarely interfere wih my day to day life. Somedays are hard and I do feel sorry for myself, but most of the time I know that I could be worse off. I am also thankful for the providers who caught on to what was going on and have done a pretty good job of managing my care.

Eager doctors: I've been impressed, and appreciative of how many of the docs that I work with have stepped up since I expressed interest in going pre-med. They have universally been encouraging and many of them have taken an interest in showing/explaining things. It is these sort of experiences that make me like my job.

A great best friend: I am thankful every week to be friends with someone who makes time to one over and eat crappy food, have a drink and hang out. I'm always glad that he is willing and able to chat about anything, and it is a nice chance to escape the pressures of the rest of my week. I find it funny that no matter what time I tell myself I'm going to sleep, suddenly it's 3 am and were sitting in the car having some personal conversation.

A wonderful wife: Not to get too mushy here, but I am very appreciative of how much my wife does. She puts up with my busy stressful schedule, and the resulting cranky me. I am also always impressed by how many different roles she takes on and does them so well and without complaining. This year she has been: wedding planner, interior designer, study partner, therapist, chef, nurse, dog mom, health advocate, personal banker, bike detailer, housekeeper, cycling widow, personal shopper, student, nutritionist, debate partner, and masseuse. All of this on top of managing her own life. Without her support I wouldn't be able to do half the things I do.

Weekend Schedule

In an attempt to keep myself focused/on track for the weekend I'm going to write down my weekend school/riding schedule.

Thursday:


Chem Chapter 4 Review ?'s



Work



1 hour on trainer, cadance drills 6x20 seconds w/2 minute rest


hang with dean (canceled because tara is in town)

Friday:


Chem Chapter 7 Review ?'s



Write Bio Lab report



Chem review session online @ 2pm


Get my hair cut

Weights/pilates - went shopping with the girls instead

Saturday:

Team Ride - skipped to finish homework


Chem Chapter 8 MC



Bio Lab @ 6pm


Read Bio Chapter 11

Sunday:

Saltzman Time Trial

Chem Chapter 8 Review ?'s

Write Panel Paper

Study Chem w/Meeps

Read Bio Chapter 12

Date Night with <3Allison<3

Monday:

Chem Midterm  (got a 91, boo my lowest chem grade so far)

Weights/Pilates

Finish Panel Paper

Random To Do:

Get "State of Fear"

Wash Bike (Thanks Allison)

Go to Buffalo Exchange

Hopefully thats everything, If I'm really on it maybe I'll actually strike through things as they get done.

Intervention

I've been having a sort of rough time this week.

Which is not surprising. Invariably after making big decisions I find myself grappling with all the logistics involved in those decisions. This week both my Chem and Bio teachers talked about research programs, which are things I would love to do and would help my med school app, but I'm not sure how to make it work. I also had several of the docs be very supportive of my med school decision, an suggest that I should become a scribe, a job I would love to have, but if I did that then I would lose my benefits, something that feels overwhelmingly unrealistic. We had a team meeting this week where we talked about the race weekends, which sound awesome. But at the same time I'm not sure that logistically I can actually go on any of them. On top of all that I overheard two of the charge nurses at work bitching about my extra day off. Which makes me plan to take math next quarter seem impossible.

It probably doesn't help that I was already feeling behind with 2 missed work out already this week, and a weekend looming where I need to write most of an 8 page paper, study for a Chem quiz, take one of the dogs for a vet appointment, attend a 3 hour team ride, an still try to ind some time to spend with my wife.

I guess I struggle with feeling like I'm not able to commit and do my best at the things I'm pursuing, which makes me feel like I need to just give up or lower my expectations. Which is a hard feeling to have.

Priorities

My official training season kicks off this week, which means no more randomly missed workouts. For the next four weeks I need to follow the schedule I made alot closer then I have been, at which point I'll move on to the next phase of training and a new schedule/challenge. That being said despite the missed workouts I've been feeling pretty good on the bike recently. On Friday the team ride went up the hill by the zoo and it was significantly easier then the last time I tried it.
The hard part will be making sure that with all the training my commitment to everything else in my life doesn't slip. At this point I'm doing very well in my classes (top 5 in bio, top grade in chem.) Which is making me rethink med school. This is one of the first times in my life I've felt like I can do well enough in the sciences to be a competitive applicant. This will mean that I need to keep my grades high, and that I want to try to not work/ work minimally starting next year. The financial logistics of this are doable, but trying to manage my healthcare needs without insurance will be the hard part.
I've been particularly achy recently (which is maybe related to the weather) and I find myself taking more and more ibuprofen. I'm hoping that once I fill my sulfasalazine prescription that it will bring my pain a little more under control. Right now I find myself truly inspired by the girl riding on the college team who kept up with us on the climbs riding a 30 lb hybrid, especially when I found out she has symptomatic crohn's. It was nice riding with someone whose health problems are more intimidating and is making it work through shear hard work. I figure if she can do it, I can to. Which is an attitude I will need to tackle all the things I'm taking on

Geekery

For anyone who knows me it comes as no surprise that I am something of a geek. My interests often become full on obsessions, and almost always this obsession will focus on bits of minutia that seem important to me, and no one else. In this past this has been; performance statistics of fighter jets, past and current members of emo bands, and names and locations of trauma centers in all of california. For this reason it is entirely within character for me to be so interested in the numbers side of cycling.  This is a post that I've been delaying making because I wanted to have all my numbers crunched before I put it up. But since that seems to have become an impossible feet I decided to let everyone in on the journey to decipher them.

First my current stats:

I am (as of this morning) 173lbs

My max calculated 10 minute power is 276w (which is pretty good)

My best calculated climb is 12.5 mph average on 0.6 mile 3% grade

Goals:

Since my 5 and 10 minute power is not bad the real place I need to work on improving is maintaining power over an extended period. This (along with a slight weight loss) should help my climbing times considerably.

Diet:

I've been attempting to calculate an accurate kcal goal for my day to be able to actually reach all my macro-nutrient goals while still maintaining a small amount of weight loss leading into this season. Unfortunately I find conflicting info depending on the source. The macro-nutrient goals as calculated from Orthopaedic Sports Medicine 3rd ed are 467g of carbs, 100-155g of protein, and 77.85g of fat. The same source suggests a kcal goal of 3979 for weight maintenance (weight in lbs x 23) While a Family Medicine textbook (I forgot the name) allowed me to calculate a BMR of 1840 kcals a day and then to multiply that by 1.6 for my activity level to get a daily goal of 2944 kcals. This huge range makes it hard to pinpoint a good target for myself, so I will probably start somewhere in the middle and adjust up or down depending on how my weight responds.

Aside from the numbers, I've spent some time thinking about why I have become more obsessed with riding recently. I think it has a lot to do with the other things that have been going on in my life. With my body so frequently dictating what I can and can't do it has become very important to me to have some time where I can make my body do what I want, and if it doesn't to know that with just a little more work I can get there.

Support

Probably the most important component of pursuing a degree at the same time I am trying to become a high level racer, is support from friends and family. I am very lucky to have a very wonderful, very supportive wife who puts up with my early morning rides, dirty bikes in the living room, lack of sleep, and endless list of bike related things to buy. Without her I would not be able to be where I am today, or dream of being where I want to be in the future.